Interesting SPAM

I received an interesting bit of SPAM today and thought it might be fun to see where it goes. Here for your amusement (or at least mine) is the communication. My commentary is in [square brackets] and was not part of the email thread. His emails are in bold, mine are plain. I am leaving his email intact for spam crawlers and if any readers want to mess with him.


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-----Original Message-----
From: Barrister Adams Coulibaly [mailto:diplomatichenrry@gmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, June 28, 2016 4:32 PM
Subject: Hello

Good Morning

I have decided to contact you due to the urgency arising in this matter, I am Hon.Barrister Adams Coulibaly, a solicitor at law. My late client was bearing a last name with you , who was a popularly known independent contractor here in Lome Togo.On 21 April 2008,he and his wife and only daughter were involved in an automobile accident while visiting a neighboring country on vacation. I contacted you to assist me in repatriating the fund valued of (US$13.5 million) into your account. Furthermore, in this transaction i want you confidentially reply to me directly for more details.

Contact me direct to my privet email for security resin ( acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com Thank you, Barrister Adams Coulibaly


===============================================================

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Peter
Date: Tue, Jun 28, 2016 at 4:41 PM
Subject: RE: Hello
To: acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com



Dear Barrister Adams Coulibaly,

I received your urgent email and wanted to respond immediately. Given the confidential nature of the email I am sending from a different email account. I hope that's ok. I am saddened to hear about the death of my relative. I want to assist you but I have no idea what I can do to help.

Please let me know as soon as you can.

===============================================================

[I intentionally did not follow up to see what he'd do next]


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, Jul 1, 2016 at 3:44 AM
Subject: Hello Mr Peter
To: Peter


Hello Mr Peter

How are you today with your family, what is going on, i have send you
massage more Dan 3 times know respond i hope all is well. All the
information i want from you o that will can start the arrangement you
know talk to me again are you not interesting any more

Thanks and urgent respond

Barrister Adams


===============================================================


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Peter
Date: Fri, Jul 1, 2016 at 6:55 AM
Subject: Re: Hello Mr Peter
To: Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>


Barista Adams,

I am so happy you wrote back. I lost your previous email and I thought I'd lost out on this opportunity. Poor Uncle Victor! I know he would want me to have this money.

Attached is the information you requested. [I attached nothing] I am anxiously waiting your response.

P.S. Do you enjoy the smell of coffee when you're making it?  [Note, I addressed him as Barista]



===============================================================


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, Jul 1, 2016 at 10:31 AM
Subject: Hello Mr Peter
To: Peter

Dear Mr Peter Eisengrein,


This is the information i want from you     [Clearly he is all business]

Thanks for your response, my client Engr.Victor Eisengrein, died on 21
April 2008 with his family members without any registered next of kin
and the funds now have an open beneficiary mandate, he had no
registered next of kin and as such the bank has notified me to present
the relatives or have the funds confiscated, having searched for his
relatives without finding anyone alive, I decided to contact you
before the bank confiscates the money. However you need to furnish to
me with the following information.

1. Your full name
2.Home or office Address
3.Your private phone number
4. Marital status
5.Age & Nationality
6.Profession
7. A scanned copy of your Identity card or passport
.

With  your forwarded information, I shall be going to the Registry of
the Togolese High Court  to procure the per-requisite legal documents
and an Affidavit of claim in your favor as the next of kin to the late
depositor. This affidavit of claim is a legal paper work that will
confer on you, the statutory right to lay this claim. Upon the
procurement of the affidavit, I shall proceed to the bank and submit
every necessary document to the legal department to put claims for the
transfer of the said fund to your account. Once I file this
application,

Thanks



===============================================================


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Peter
Date: Fri, Jul 1, 2016 at 12:34 PM
Subject: Re: Hello Mr Peter
To: Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>


Barista,

I'm so sorry. You didn't get the info I sent the first time? I am re-attaching for you.  [I still attached nothing]

Do you serve scones with your coffee?


===============================================================


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, Jul 1, 2016 at 3:56 PM
Subject: Hello Mr Peter
To: Peter


Hello

Please i know receive the information send it again ok

===============================================================

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Peter
Date: Sat, Jul 2, 2016 at 7:53 AM
Subject: Re: Hello Mr Peter
To: Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>


Barista Coulibaly,

I am happy that it went through that time and you know you receive the information. When will I receive the money?   [I purposefully misinterpreted his response and totally ignored his request to "send it again ok"]

After the money is received I would like to get together with you and have some coffee. Maybe cappuccino? Do you like cappuccino? I bet you do. I bet you like cappuccino. I have a friend named Adam (no "s") and he LOVES cappuccino, but not with cinnamon on top. Can you believe that? He likes it plain. I always thought that the cinnamon was an important part of the cappuccino experience. My friend Adam drinks plain cappuccino every day. I bet you like cappuccino. I mean, how could you resist when you smell it all day. I'd want to drink cappuccino all day. I'd drink cappuccino with a scone every day if I were you.   [Yum. I love cappuccino!]

===============================================================

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Peter
Date: Mon, Jul 4, 2016 at 10:25 AM
Subject: Re: Hello Mr Peter
To: Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>


Barista,

Do you think we'll get the money today? I know you said it would take several days but I was hoping it would come today. Today would be great, don't you think?

I've been thinking what I would do  with over $6,000,000 dollars! Maybe we should go into business together. If we combine my 6 million with your 6 million we'd have 12 million (I'm very excellent at math) then we could do something really big. Don't you think? Don't you think we could do big things with 12 million dollars? I was thinking maybe we could go into business doing imports of -- you're going to love this -- coffee beans! We could start a premier coffee business.

Please let me know when you think we'll get the money and we can start our coffee business. Maybe we can call it Victor's Coffee, named after good old Uncle Victor.

This is going to be great!

===============================================================

---------- Forwarded message ----------

From: Peter 

Date: Mon, Jul 4, 2016 at 11:10 AM

Subject: Re: Hello Mr Peter

To: Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>

Barista,

I talked to my friend Adam. You remember, I mentioned Adam. He's the one who doesn't like cinnamon on his cappuccino (can you believe that?!). Anyway, I told him about the coffee import business we're going to start and he would like to partner with us. He doesn't have 6 million dollars to put into the business but he does have 17 dollars and a nice watch that he is willing to invest.  [nod to Planes Trains and Automobiles]

Please let me know what you think about having Adam as a business partner. I told him you'd almost certainly be willing to have him since his name is Adam and your name is Adams. It's like it is meant to be.

===============================================================


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Peter
Date: Mon, Jul 4, 2016 at 3:36 PM
Subject: Re: Hello Mr Peter
To: Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>


Barista,

I talked to my friend Adam again about our business venture. You remember Adam. He's the one who doesn't like cinnamon on his cappuccino. Crazy. Anyway, we discussed the coffee import business we're starting and he had a great idea. Brilliant even. He suggested that we not only import coffee but we also import sugar. And then he even suggested that we start a dairy farm. What a crazy smart idea? Don't you think?

Anyway, I'm really excited about our future business venture!

I look forward to hearing from you soon!!!!!!!

===============================================================

---------- Forwarded message ----------

From: Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>

Date: Tue, Jul 5, 2016 at 6:10 AM

Subject: Re: Hello Mr Peter

To: Peter

ok so what is your dissipation

[Wait. What? Touche' Mr. Coulibaly. I did not see this one coming. My response will require some thought.]

===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Mon, Jul 11, 2016 at 11:05 AM
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

Barista Coulibaly,

Sorry I have been slow to respond. I have been very, very busy. My friend, Ferris, was in town for a parade and we spent a lot of time doing so many things. Unlike Adam, Ferris likes cinnamon on his cappuccino. You remember my friend, Adam, right? He's the weirdo that doesn't like cinnamon on his cappuccino. Well, Ferris is not like that, Ferris drinks his cappuccino like a normal person.

Ferris has also been helping me search for warehouse space for our business (gotta have a place for all those beans!) and start getting all the other things in place for the business. So exciting!

Oh, and to answer your question, my dissipation is collecting antique coffee pots.



===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Fri, Jul 15, 2016 at 10:03 PM
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter Barista, I am disappointed in you. I thought you were a smart businessman. I accept your silence to mean you do not want to go into business with Adam, Ferris, and me. You'll regret it when we build our multi-billion dollar global coffee bean and dairy farm empire! I wish I could see your face when you realize what you chose to not participate in. Ferris and I, however, will be smiling a huge smile with cinnamon-speckled frothy lips (made from my antique cappuccino machine, of course). Adam will have frothy lips from the antique cappuccino machine too, they just won't be cinnamon speckled. I told you about my friend, Adam, right? He's the weird guy that doesn't like cinnamon on his cappuccino. Anyway, please send me the money you promised so that I can get Victor's Coffee bean empire going. I've gotten a warehouse and am currently waiting for the first shipment of beans to arrive from Greenland. Oh, and I bought a cow too. See you latte!  (See what I did there?) [Yes, I had just watched Ferris Beuhler]

===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Fri, Jul 15, 2016 at 10:16 PM
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

One other thing... Dairy farming is harder than I thought it would be. The man sold me a "special" dairy cow. She has big horns and a single, large udder. She only gives about a half cup of milk and it tastes funny. [Ew]  I expected a bucket full.

I'll keep trying.

===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Sat, Jul 16, 2016 at 8:40 AM
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

It has been over 9 hours since I emailed you and I still have received the money you promised me.

===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Sat, Jul 16, 2016 at 8:40 AM
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

I hope my coffee beans arrive today.


===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Sun, Jul 17, 2016 at 10:09 AM
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

Barista,

It's been a whole day since I emailed you. I just checked to see if the money you promised had arrived yet and, like cinnamon on Adam's cappuccino, nothing is there.

===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Sun, Jul 17, 2016 at 10:20 AM [11 minutes later]
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

While I wait for the money you promised to arrive I think I'll have a nice cup of cappuccino. I like it frothy with cinnamon on top. You know who doesn't like cinnamon on top? My friend Adam. I told you about him, right? He's that weird friend of mine who doesn't like cinnamon on his cappuccino. No cinnamon. Cappuccino sans cinnamon. Can you believe that?!? That's the strangest thing I've ever heard, no cinnamon on his cappuccino. Do you like cinnamon on your cappuccino, Barista? I bet you do. I bet you like cinnamon on your cappuccino because you're not weird like my friend Adam. I've told you about Adam, right?

Well, my cappuccino is ready! Bring on the cinnamon!

===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Sun, Jul 17, 2016 at 10:23 AM  [3 minutes later]
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

Yuck, this cappuccino tastes awful! I don't understand. I used milk I got from the cow this morning.

===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Sun, Jul 17, 2016 at 10:38 AM  [5 minutes later]
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

I just checked. The money you promised me still has not arrived.

===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Sun, Jul 17, 2016 at 10:38 AM  [< 60 seconds later]
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

I just checked again. Still not here.

===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Sun, Jul 17, 2016 at 10:39 AM  [1 minute later]
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

And again. Nothing.

===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Sun, Jul 17, 2016 at 10:45 AM  [6 minutes later]
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

Why is it taking so looooong.

I'll make another cup of cappuccino while I wait.

===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Sun, Jul 17, 2016 at 1:55 PM   [A couple hours later]
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

Still nothing.

At least the second cup of cappuccino was better. I used store bought milk. Stupid cow. And I had biscotti with my cappuccino. Do you like biscotti? I bet you do. I bet you like biscotti, Barista. I bet you love biscotti. You probably eat biscotti every chance you get. I'm a very good judge of character and I can usually tell when someone likes something like biscotti. I bet you love biscotti, don't you, Barista? One weird thing about biscotti, though. Is biscotti a cookie, a cracker, or a biscuit? I can't tell. But I sure do love biscotti with my cappuccino. Don't you, Barista? Don't you love biscotti with your cappuccino?

===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Sun, Jul 17, 2016 at 2:54 PM  [59 minutes later]
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

I'm stuffed. I ate too many biscotti.

Do you think the money you promised will arrive today? I hope so. I think the coffee beans might arrive tomorrow. How am I going to pay for 4000 pounds of coffee beans if the money is not here?

===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Sun, Jul 17, 2016 at 4:55 PM  [2 hours later]
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

So Barista, you haven't told me much about yourself. It doesn't seem right that we are business partners and I don't know much about you. How did you become a barista? Did you have to go to school for it or did you already know how to make delicious coffee beverages? I bet you already knew. Didn't you, barista, you already knew how to make tasty coffee beverages.

What's your dissipation?   [I can play this too]

===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Mon, Jul 18, 2016 at 5:52 AM
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

No money yet. No beans yet.

Is cappuccino your dissipation?

===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Mon, Jul 18, 2016 at 6:25 PM
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

BEANS ARE HERE!!!

Do you have any idea how many coffee beans are are in 4000 pounds? Exactly 17,023,771 (I counted)

Wow!

===============================================================

from:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
to:		Peter
date:		Thu, Jul 21, 2016 at 9:14 PM
subject:		Hello Mr Peter

Hello My Friend

How are you today, please can i have your number to call you  [I don't think so]

===============================================================

from:		Peter
to:		Adams Coulibaly <acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com>
date:		Mon, May 29, 2017 at 7:57 PM  [10 months later]
subject:		Re: Hello Mr Peter

Dear Barista,

I am so sorry that I haven't responded in a while. It's kind of a long story but I'll try to be brief.

As I'm sure you remember, I had just received shipment of 4000 pounds of coffee beans. I originally counted 17,023,771 beans but when I recounted I got 17,023,769, 17,023,772, and 17,023,782. [Who would count them at all, but FOUR times?]  Bonus beans! Anyway, I got the beans, and I had that cow, which I've named Holmes (after the famous actor Johnny Holmes). And my friends Ferris and Adam -- you remember Adam, right? He's the weird one that doesn't like cinnamon on his cappuccino. I mean, COME ON! Who doesn't love cinnamon on their cappuccino?  No one, that's who! I bet you like cinnamon on your cappuccino, don't you Barista? Don't you love cinnamon on your cappuccino, Barista? I bet you do. Anyway, Ferris, and Adam, and I were ready to go into business but you never sent the money like you promised. I'm sure it got lost in the mail. So, we didn't have the money but we had a warehouse full of coffee beans that we couldn't pay for. And we had that cow, Holmes, but no money because you never sent the money you promised. And so we went broke. And then I had to shut off my Internet connection, and then the power was shut off. And then I was forced to move out of my apartment. So I lived in the warehouse with the cow and the beans. Did I tell you about the milk from that cow? It was awful. 

So one day Ferris and Adam and I were sitting in the dark warehouse drinking cappuccino made from that cow and a man came by and he asked for a cup of cappuccino. Well, we didn't have money but we did have manners and we did have beans, so we gave him a cup. And guess what? Guess, Barista. Well, you guessed it, Barista, the man LOVED it, and we went into business with him. Funny thing is, this man, the one who loved our cappuccino and went into business with us, also doesn't like cinnamon on his cappuccino. W-W-WHAT??? Yes, he is just like my friend Adam who doesn't like cinnamon on his cappuccino. I've told you about my friend Adam, right, Barista, I've told you about Adam?

Long story short, we started with one coffee shop, grew it into 8 stores, and then we sold the whole chain of them. 

So with my earnings, I have bought a small herd of single utter cows. I'm broke again, but at least I have milk.

Anyway, Barista, thank you for your friendship. I'm afraid that this will be my last email as my Internet is getting shut off again at the end of this month. But if you want to call me, you can call me at 1-877-382-4357.   [The number for reporting scams at the FTC]


[His email is blocked and I will be shutting down the account. Done]

Interesting SPAM

UPDATE

Here's my initial response:

Dear Barrister Adams Coulibaly,

I received your urgent email and wanted to respond immediately. Given the confidential nature of the email I am sending from a different email account. I hope that's ok. I am saddened to hear about the death of my relative. I want to assist you but I have no idea what I can do to help.

Please let me know as soon as you can.

===============================================================


I received an interesting bit of SPAM today and thought it might be fun to see where it goes. Here's the original message:

-----Original Message-----
From: Barrister Adams Coulibaly [mailto:diplomatichenrry@gmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, June 28, 2016 4:32 PM
Subject: Hello

Good Morning

I have decided to contact you due to the urgency arising in this matter, I am Hon.Barrister Adams Coulibaly, a solicitor at law. My late client was bearing a last name with you , who was a popularly known independent contractor here in Lome Togo.On 21 April 2008,he and his wife and only daughter were involved in an automobile accident while visiting a neighboring country on vacation. I contacted you to assist me in repatriating the fund valued of (US$13.5 million) into your account. Furthermore, in this transaction i want you confidentially reply to me directly for more details.

Contact me direct to my privet email for security resin ( acabinetcoulibaly@gmail.com Thank you, Barrister Adams Coulibaly

The Great Email Enigma

Several years ago I had an employee whom I'll call Richie. Richie used to send me an email and then walk over to my desk and say, "I just sent you an email." Since he'd already interrupted I would oblige and read his email so I could give immediate feedback and try to get back to what I was doing. I purposefully chose the word "try" because every interruption causes your mind to lose concentration and require you to regain your thought, sort of like how we (or I, anyway) have to re-read a paragraph or sometimes a whole page of a book if I stop to look at something else that's probably email.

In this excellent Harvard Business Review article, author Hal Newport suggests eliminating email in favor of having "office hours" where you have time set aside to talk with people that need you, same as professors do in college, Mr. Newport correctly states that email has created a fragmented dialog, one where a face-to-face conversation could "allow you to handle in three minutes decisions that might have otherwise taken three days of attention-snagging messages." I mostly agree.

The problem is, the business world isn't academia. Sure, professors have staff meetings and other peer-related responsibilities. However, professors are not having their classes interrupted by their peers. Their office hours are generally for students who are, essentially, the professor's customers. In most businesses it is not practical to schedule times when your customers may or may not contact you. Or put another way, your business hours ARE your office hours. In an office environment, your interruptions also come from your peers and in an open-office environment, like where I work, the frequency of interruptions can be amplified simply because you don't have a door to close or office hours to manage the barrage of interruptions.

Your peers don't mean to turn your day upside down, they just need to talk. Perhaps they just want to chat about last night's game. Or maybe they really need some bit of critical information that only you have. Whatever the reason, your peers are operating on their time schedule, not yours.

This is pretty powerful thing to understand. Your peers are operating on their time schedule, not yours. Anyone that has read Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People understands that this falls smack in the middle of Quadrant III. That is, getting from you this priceless nugget of information is urgent to them but is unimportant to what you need to get done.

So let's get back to Richie. His approach was classic Quadrant III -- to me -- but was Quadrant I - to him. To him, it was both urgent AND important, which is why he would stand over my shoulder until I read his email. And it is this misaligned sense of importance and urgency that is at the heart of the matter. If Richie was going to come to my desk anyway, why send the email in the first place? Perhaps he wanted it documented in writing. Perhaps he didn't think he could articulate it as well when speaking in real-time. Or, maybe he forwarded an email from someone else that gave it context. Whatever the reason, he sent it as an email. I am equally guilty of this crime.

To me, email is not an urgent medium. In today's information age we have numerous ways to communicate: phone call (including video calls), text messages, Instant Message (IM), social media. And face-to-face, real conversations too. For me, the order of urgency, from least urgent to most, is as follows:

• Social Media -- Unless you manage a support group or some sort of external communication via Social Media, or you are contacting someone who does, this is not a great choice for communicating real business needs. This is a way to be heard when you don't want or need a response. 
• Email -- Send an email when you need something from someone but the answer can wait. Maybe it can wait until tomorrow, or next week, or maybe by close of business. Whatever the case, email suggests that YOU are willing to work on THEIR timeline. Used properly, email can be really useful. But email is mostly abused and therefore we are all buried under an avalanche of these little electronic jerks. 
• Text Message / IM -- I combines these two forms of media because to me they have the same purpose, a short interruption for a small piece of information. These media are not well suited for long conversations but are ideal when you want a quick response. 
• Phone call -- This old fashioned standby is still as relevant today as it was when it was invented. A phone call means you want to have a conversation and you'd like to do it now. However, a phone call may be a Quadrant III activity and therefore the callee has the power to accept or decline the call. 
• Face-To-Face -- Walking over to someone's desk sends a message that, what I need to discuss is important enough that I am going to interrupt you whether you like it or not and I cannot wait for a response. 

The above order of precedence only works if both parties agree to it, which is almost never the case, though I do try to espouse it whenever possible which, admittedly, isn't as often as I'd like.

So what to do? The rise of communications options has given birth to whole industries that try to wrangle all this communication. It is proclaimed that apps like Slack are going to kill email once and for all. With 100 billion pieces of email being sent every day, that seems unlikely, at least any time soon. Though apps that actually help tame the beast are certainly worthwhile. But in reality, it this just another window to which we need to turn our attention?

Chances are, there will never be a single solution that solves this ever-growing problem. Because there will always be people like Richie who will come to your desk and say, "I just messaged you on Slack..."

Do you have a better way? Share it in the comments.

Five Karate Principles for Business Leaders

For many people, Karate carries a sense of mystery and there are misconceptions that it is pseudo-religious or has spiritual overtones. Not quite. There are several branches to the family tree of traditional Japanese karate and each has a very similar set of principles. The founder of Shotokan karate, Gichin Funakoshi, was a poet and philosopher so there is some philosophical background. Here are Funakoshi’s five karate principles, known as the Dojo Kun (pronounced: do-jo koon), that every business leader can use every day.

1.       Seek Perfection of Character

Character is one of those things that everyone understands but can be hard to put into words. It is a person’s moral compass but it’s about more than just morality. It is the foundation of a leader. Remove a brick from that foundation and it may take a long time for the structure to settle, if it doesn’t completely crumble around you. In short, continue trying to be the best version of you that you can be. We’re all human and make mistakes but meddle with character and you’re asking for trouble.

2.       Be Faithful

This is not necessarily religious. In this context being faithful means finding something important to your organization, and being steadfast to it. This is your vision, your mission. Stay true to it. If you don’t believe it then neither will the rest of the organization. But if you truly believe your mission and preach it every day then your people will share your vision too. They’ll be faithful and out of this faith comes passion.

3.       Endeavor To Excel

This one seems obvious but there’s nuance here. Endeavor is an action word. It is something you strive for. Not once, not twice. It is something you do every day. Much like karate, there is no finish line. No matter how much training a karateka (karate practitioner) has, or how much endeavoring a business leader has done, there is no end because there is no mastery, only excellence which is not finite. Funakoshi said, “Karate is like boiling water, if you do not heat it constantly, it will cool.” Excellence is the same, it is something you work continually toward or else it will cool.

4.       Respect Others

Another no-brainer, right? Too many bad leaders think respect comes with the corner office. It doesn’t. You can’t force respect, you can’t demand it. Respect is earned and it is a two-way street. In order for people to respect you they need to know you’re one of them. They understand you have broader responsibilities but they need to feel that you’d roll up your sleeves and do the grunt work with them if and when you have to.  And, you have to show respect to the people with whom you work. If there is a lack of respect in either direction you have to stop and ask yourself why because it’s time to make changes.

5.       Refrain From Violent Behavior

This may seem counter-intuitive to a non-practitioner of karate because karateka spend so much time training to punch, block, strike, and kick. To traditional martial artists, however, the notion of non-violence is deeply embedded. Reason and negotiation comes first, physical force is a last resort. In business, refraining from violent behavior is so obvious, it’s barely worth saying. Under no circumstances is violence acceptable in the workplace unless you’re a professional fighter. So, let’s look at the tenet less literally and replace the word “violent” with “aggressive”, “abusive”, “offensive”, or a myriad of other less-than-savory expressions.

Refraining from offensive behavior goes hand-in-hand with all of the other principles above. If you are offensive to your employees then you will lose their respect, your character foundation will crack, the employees will lose their faith, and ultimately their motivation to excel.

Slow Webpages

An open letter to all web admins (once known as "web masters" -- cool title):

You've got 3 seconds. If your web page is so riddled with ads, tracking code, and flash that the actual content doesn't load in 3 seconds, I'm out. Possibly in 1 or 2 seconds. I understand the need for ads. I understand the need for analytics. Blah blah blah. It's 2015 people. There are millions of places for people to get the same exact content (yes, including my bloviating blog), so if it's slow people will simply go elsewhere.

Oh, and if you're still doing popup ads I'm gone even faster and I probably won't be back.

But hey, that's just me. I could be wrong.

What do you think?